Want to fix the evil entity known as Central Maine Power?
Unfortunately, the Maine Supreme Judicial Court has made sure that can’t be done by referendum. Gov. Janet Mills still seems to be sucking up to the state’s largest electric utility. The Legislature lacks the votes to pass a law replacing CMP with a public power authority. And we probably don’t have the up-front cash needed to accomplish that, anyway.
But there’s another approach that’s guaranteed to improve the way that company does business.
Let the mob take it over.
Before you reject that idea as the fevered delusion of a Covid-19-infected brain, consider these advantages of inviting organized crime to run the utility that keeps the lights on at your house (sometimes).
First, notice that word “organized.” The syndicate is nothing if not efficient. No one has ever said that about CMP.
Second, mobsters are effective. Unlike CMP, they don’t forget to send out bills for months on end. When made guys are owed money, they collect. Or else.
Third, letting actual criminals do stuff like send illegal disconnect notices to customers in the middle of winter won’t be any different from the current system. It’ll just be more in character.
Fourth, we won’t have to endure the utility’s constant attempts to deflect criticism for inaccurate bills and spotty service by posting wimpy stuff on the company website like, “Everything we do is centered around serving our customers. We continue to take concrete steps to deliver outstanding, safe and reliable service throughout Maine, every day.”
The new boss of bosses will convey a message that’s not only more honest, but also far more compelling.
“You wanna play rough?” Tony Montana of “Scarface” fame will explain to dissatisfied consumers. “Okay. Say hello to my little friend.”
CMP customers who have long opposed having so-called smart meters installed in their homes will find gangsters surprisingly amenable to their concerns. They won’t have to submit to having artificial intelligence monitoring their electrical usage. Instead, a couple of knuckle draggers with suspicious bulges under their coats will show up at their houses each month and politely tell them how much they owe.
Because, as Al Capone put it in “The Untouchables,” “You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.”
As for the plan to ruin the western Maine wilderness by running a transmission line through it to supply Canadian hydropower to Massachusetts, it would be unlikely to proceed. Representatives of Hydro Quebec, CMP’s partner in that venture, would run screaming across the border once they met the new capo in charge of international relations. In his opening line in the renegotiations, Mr. Blonde from “Reservoir Dogs” would ask them, “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?”
Another advantage of turning the utility over to crime lords: local ownership. CMP is a subsidiary of Avangrid (which would be a good name for a bad deodorant), an entity that in turn is controlled by a Spanish company called Iberdrola (a name that’s in contention for the next pandemic). The racket boys have no such foreign influence. They’re strictly American with strictly American principles, such as this one from Dr. Melfi of “The Sopranos”:
“Sometimes, it’s important to give people the illusion of being in control.”
Of course, there’ll always be moralists bemoaning granting concessions to underworld types, claiming that turning a blind eye to mob misdeeds in return for more reliable power is ethically insupportable. Sorta like the NCAA. Or the postmaster general. Or Congress. None of which produce anything as useful as electricity.
As a result of its necessary nature, the newly reconstituted CMP would be well positioned to survive all attempts to interfere with its essential function of making as much money as possible.
As Lefty put it in “Donnie Brasco,” “A wise guy’s always right even when he’s wrong, he’s right.”
In “Snatch,” Bullet Tooth Tony says, “You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.” Nevertheless, you can email me at aldiamon@herniahill.net.
Al, The thing about “the mob”, The made guys all had to be of Italian descent, it has been a minute since I studied a globe, but I’m pretty sure Italy is just a little to our east. In fact, most of the organizations had close ties with foreign countries, hell, Quebec used to sell booze to the Italian mob in the US during prohibition, look, there’s another foreign country that the mob had dealings with. There aren’t many corporations that are not in some form or another in league with foreign governments or companies. That whole “But they’re foreigners” argument just doesn’t hold up. The people who didn’t see what the supreme court did coming are either terribly naive or blissfully ignorant, possibly both.
The opposition effort which grew from claims CMP intended to cut a Jersey Turnpike sized swath through virgin forests in Maine and was heavily funded by fossil fuels interests is not the first such disinformation campaign I’ve witnessed. In fact, as a Marine I witnessed another that came to the attention of the intelligence community in the mid 90’s, one which I believe the fossil fuels community was also behind.
My involvement in National Security began in 1990, when I chose to enlist so I might support those asked to remove Saddam Hussein from power. By 1993, however, my interests had turned to terrorism and an effort we then believed was designed to encourage Western armies to invade. While this may sound crazy, the terrorist leaders responsible for the effort had good reason to expect such an invasion to go badly for the West, having recently watched the Soviet Union crumble as a consequence of over investing in it.
Now I know you’re asking, “what do these things have in common?” The answer is fossil fuels. As John McCain was fond of saying, the Soviet Union was obsessed with oil. In fact, they hardly made a move that was not tied to the defense or acquisition of it. Unfortunately, we have our own problems with such an obsession and I believe it drove many influential Americans to support war in the Middle East despite those warnings from the intelligence community I described above.
This is something I suspected but did not hear higher ups acknowledge until 1998, when I received a security clearance and began training with Marine Corps Intelligence Schools at their Naval War College Detachment. It was at this time that I became aware of an effort to confront the misinformation that threatened to send us to war. In fact, the command tasked the elite group of Marines and Sailors I then belonged to with that very mission. We’d be commissioned by Congress and returned to the fleet as Officers prepared to support the intelligence community and the military leadership that predicted war in the Middle East would do little more than generate excessive debt spending.
Those who spread the misinformation that brought us to war did so because they believed the nation would benefit from holding more tightly to Middle Eastern oil reserves. They were wrong. If they’d been right those wars would not have generated $7 trillion in debt spending. Instead, that spending would have been offset by tax revenue increases as was promised by the Bush administration in 2002.
Those who spread misinformation against and attempt to shut down this effort to add hydroelectricity to the New England electrical grid do so, whether they realize it or not, because members of the fossil fuels industry in this region don’t want to lose those profits. In order to ensure that does not happen they launched a campaign that excited the core group that continues to write letters and pass ordinances in opposition to it. Their party affiliation is of no consequence, just as it was of no consequence in 2002 when Congress was convinced to authorize war. Misinformation moves people who move political types looking for an edge in elections.
What “exactly” is it that the Supreme Court did?
Wake more people up.
HB, you’re a much better name caller than that man!
how about blissfully naive and terribly ignorant for better effect.
And yes,, it is no surprise they ruled the way they did.
Just like it’s no surprise they still allow legal killing of babies, and you can gather as long as you’re only rioting…
Justice is a slow process…
Everything Is Beautiful.
Jay,
Listen carefully. The No to the NECEC group is not funded by fossil fuel giants. If it were l, and others like me, wouldn’t be participating in 5 dollar Fridays and helping to pay for the legal fees to derail the NECEC. Does the group now have a PAC? Yes. That PAC has 2 natural gas companies in the mix. Now l suppose you think you have the right to scream foul because natural gas is considered a fossil fuel but please remember, AVANGRID and Iberdrola, CMP’s parent companies ALSO deal in natural gas. And while we’re discussing PAC’s l don’t see you slamming the CMP PAC that includes two, count em, two foreign entities, one of which, is the sole stockholder for Hydro-Quebec which is a genocidal, environment destroying, money making machine. And that PAC has spent more than 17 million to date to ram the line through every town along the way that has no. And by the way Jay, thank you for your service to this country.
Al, great commentary. As always you can make even a crap deal like this sound entertaining. As for Governor Mills sucking up to the state’s largest utility company. l guess l’ll throw out this mob quote from The Godfather.
I think it goes something like this….
“They loved me one week. They hated me the next week. I got paid both weeks.”
Yup, the political players in this may be making the deals with the money for the so called good of this state but it just may cost them at the polls. Everything happens for a reason folks, everything.
Should read “has spent more than 17 million to date to ram that line through every town along the way that has said NO.
It’s not over. We still have hope.
Terry,
Various newspapers have reported on the funding provided by fossil fuels interests since this began. More importantly, the effort against it was initiated through the use of misinformation. It doesn’t really matter who that effort snagged from that point forward, as the entire effort has been tainted by exaggeration and outright lies. These efforts rely on emotional outrage. Once triggered it doesn’t easily abate.
Good to read different points of view presented respectfully and thoughtfully. Thanks for teaching me things i did not know on both sides of the issue.
Great repartee on all participants’ part this go round in response to Al’s humor. On the heels of the Emoluments meltdown vis a vis the the so called GOP “convention” unreality show telecast in living Covid from government properties by both Pence and Trump, no one in this forum has accused another of being an f…in “snowflake”! There is hope.