Politics & Other Mistakes: Gifts of the magi

“Augusta’s projections of future revenue are always much too optimistic.”
– Republican gubernatorial candidate Bruce Poliquin, blog posting, Dec. 8

“I believe you have to put 110 percent into doing what is right to be successful.”
– Poliquin, blog posting, Dec. 10

OK, so math isn’t Poliquin’s strong point. And he’s a little shaky on consistency. But are those minor flaws enough to convince Santa to leave coal in his stocking?

In his quest for the Blaine House, Poliquin is as energetic as any elf (and about as tall), a quality St. Nick probably appreciates. Besides, Mr. Claus has to conserve his supply of anthracite for those who truly deserve it.

First on that list is Gov. John Baldacci and the Legislature’s Appropriations Committee, who’ve been complaining to Capitol News Service that the revised budget they’re working on won’t reduce spending enough to cover the long-term shortfall in state revenues. They say they’re being hamstrung by the state’s Consensus Economic Forecasting Commission (motto: Nobody Is Always Wrong – Except Us), which has decided to balance the budget with federal money Congress hasn’t gotten around to appropriating yet.

Baldacci and committee co-chairs state Sen. Bill Diamond and state Rep. Emily Cain have admitted there’s no guarantee the feds will come through with any extra cash. But they’re all committed to going along with the commission’s figures, anyway (even though that group has failed to get it right three times in a row), claiming state law forces them to use those estimates.

That’s reindeer dung.

Maine’s Constitution requires the budget be balanced, by which it means the state can’t spend more than it takes in. There’s nothing that says it can’t spend less. Immediately reducing the budget by $200 million more than the commission suggested would likely avoid the unpleasant task of making further cuts later next year. Cutting spending by an additional $400 million might actually get the state through the entire recession without any additional whining.

Pelt them with coal pellets, Santa, until they figure that out.

Speaking of cooking the books over a hot bituminous fire, it’s that most-wonderful time of the year when complaints surface about the legislative ratings of the Maine Economic Research Institute. MERI (ho, ho, etc,) annually bestows a numerical grade on every state lawmaker, a figure that’s often controversial because it’s not derived strictly from how legislators voted on economic issues. Instead, the institute bases half the value of its scores on a poll of what its Web site calls “Government Affairs Professionals.”

Normal people call them lobbyists. Normal people with a hint of political savvy call them Republican lobbyists.

Every yuletide season, this results in an outcome as predictable as the gift of fruitcake from Aunt Myrtle: 

Democrats get low ratings.

Members of the GOP get high numbers.

Santa doesn’t use these grades in deciding who’s been naughty or nice, and neither should you.

For the past five years, the Maine Department of Health and Human Services has had a Medicaid computer system that didn’t work. For all that time, top officials, including Commissioner Brenda Harvey, have issued periodic announcements that the problems would be fixed immediately. They weren’t, resulting in millions in unpaid bills, millions more in overpayments and general chaos.

Now, DHHS has a new $54-million computer program called the Maine Integrated Health Management Solution System. It uses the acronym MIHMS instead of MIHMSS, possibly because the former sounds less sinister than the latter. Or maybe dropping the extra “S” saved a few million bucks.

MIHMS will go into effect next year, but before that happens all health-care providers who want to be reimbursed will have to re-register, a procedure that can take “as little as five minutes,” according to Harvey, although the average applicant should plan on the effort occupying a period of time equal to the rest of his or her natural life.

A special telephone help line has been set up to assist those who die before completing the process, so their heirs can continue from where they left off (“The deceased will have to sign Form XLY78394L to confirm that you’re officially designated as the person he hates so much that he asked you to complete his registration”).

Harvey had better be wary walking home on Christmas Eve. Dasher and Dancer don’t just run over grandmas.

Finally, there’s Democratic gubernatorial candidate Rosa Scarcelli, who on Dec. 7 posted a press release on her Web site urging holiday shoppers to buy “from local businesses that provide Maine-made products and services.”

Scarcelli’s Web site is operated by a company from Boston.

That’s where Santa is sending her (locally purchased) coal.

If you found this column insensitive to those who don’t celebrate Christmas, e-mail your concerns to aldiamon@herniahill.net. I’ll get to them right after Hanukkah.